ASK AUNT ZHO - inbox

[justbeclaws]

aunt zho is herre to explain it all!! rromantic woes, philosophical concerrns, prrobing questions about trroll culturre, whateverr!! just drrop yourr tenderrly penned inquirries herre and an answerr will be forrthcoming to solve all yourr difficulties

corrrrespondent confidentiality will be rrespected unless you rreally push yourr luck, so eitherr pick a humorrous pseudonym and dequirrk yourr letterr yourrself orr the management will do so forr you

[Per this post, Zhosma, bored and injured, took it into her head to start an advice column. The ways of trolls are strange ways.

Any characters who want to participate feel free to do so! Please be logged in when you leave your letters, for OOC Cygna-is-bad-at-things reasons.]

Comments

[preuxchevalier]

Dear Aunt Zho,

I have a friend who's a troll. She's always down on herself because of this blood-coloring business. Something about not living up to it. Is there any way to buck her up? She's really a fantastic person.

And there's one other thing. It's. Well, it's this romantic business you trolls have. Four quadrants. I'm a human, so it's all still very confusing for me. I mean, I understand the basic idea behind each of them, but the practical application is tricky. I had one of my other troll friends accuse me of 'paleflirting' when I was doing nothing of the sort. I just told him I was pleased he was trying to help me out. How the devil is anyone meant to show appreciation when a simple smile and gratitude go awry?

Signed,
Non-trollian Chum

[feilanlonely]

Dear Aunt Zho,

I have numerous romantic woes, philosophical concerns, and probing questions. I don't want to take up too much of your time, though. I'll start with the most pressing one: If you were a furbeast, what sort of furbeast would you be? We want specifics now for appropriate imagining.

Signed,
Ever Curious

[bloodletter]

dear aunt zho,

who is your favorite Poet.

signed,
Ideal Candidate

[redhairedislandgirl]

dear aunt zho;

how do you tell your friends you've been brutally mauled without them freaking out?

sincerely,
oh my god this is awful.

[lastasianschoolgirl]

d0 i really
have t0 call y0u
aunt zh0

this is s0 stupid
did y0u kn0w
wh0 y0ur server is n0w

sincerely
fuck this
y0u kn0w
wh0 i am

[through_glasses]

Dear aunt Zho,

what should you do if you really miss your best friend from back home, and you wish they were here and you can't stop thinking about her?

Signed,
lonely

[acrophobic]

Dear Aunt Zho,

How do I find out who I am and what I want? I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions and that I'm disappointing everyone doing the pulling and it's making me feel horrible. Maybe if I knew where I should be headed I could stop that.

I don't really know what to do.

Signed,
Lost

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

dear aunt zho

wwhat do you do wwhen you lose evverything that matters to you an then you find out that nobody else cares

signed,
orphaner dualscar

[itsbraveanditburns]

Dear Aunt Zho,

I have a lot of problems, but I figure I can just tell you about them in person without having to let the whole game know about them under the cover of pseudoanonymity.

That said, I'm glad you're here.

Thanks for everything,
You Can Probably Guess Who This Is

[ohgawhawhawd]

dear aunt zho

a clown told me im supposed to save prom

but i dont know when prom is even happening and i want to be sure im ready

do you have a calendar

thans,
not pj

[tiarakind]

Dear Aunt Zho,

My situation is Pitiful. I have Replaced one who is Dear to Many People and my True Love is possessed by Great Evil and wants to kill me. I thought I found a Solution to this Problem, but no one will let me make the Sacrifice. What am I to do?

Sincerely,
A Daughter of Selene

[spoiledbat]

Dear Aunt Zho,

I know that Blink's Denizen was vicious and in our way and technically a game construct even if it seemed nothing like the imps, but I still feel bad that I helped kill it. Do you think it was the right thing for us to do?

Signed,
Don't Tell Billy Kaplan

[justitia]

Dear Aunt Zho,

I have a friend who was recently injured. She has taken it upon herself to start an advice service while she recovers. How do I inform her that this is a very silly idea, and considering the circumstances, she may not be the best source of wisdom available?

Yours,
A Very Dutiful Caretaker

[ferocioustiger]

Dear Aunt Zho,

I'm not of any use to anyone outside of the memos.

Signed
A Friend

[temporaladventurer]

Dear Aunt Zho,

Do trolls have aunts? Or is just a cleverly titled advice column which may or may not be a reference to similarly titled advice columns of human newspapers? (And various other species with similar familial structures?)

Sincerely,
I have Probing Questions about Troll Culture

[choiceofkindness]

Dear Aunt Zho,

My partner is doing a really great job helping his consorts, but I think he'd be happier if he had other players to talk to and quest with. And, well, it would help him develop as a player. He's a bit shy, though. He's fine on the memos, but doesn't visit many people in person.

Do you have any suggestions?

-- A Concerned Sprite

[ungrounded]

Dear Aunt Zho:

I'm attempting to learn about troll culture to foster an increased ability to complete this game successfully, but from my observations, I have observed many of your noble (those of blue or cooler textcolors) members within the game range from erratic to actively destructive to the order necessary to accomplish gamewide goals.

While my own society has some eccentrics in our nobility, I am a bit curious if such behaviors are typical of your nobility, or if we merely had poor luck as to who received the discs.

-- A Noble Human

[preuxchevalier]

Dear Aunt Zho,

Right. It's the human chum again. Dashed fine advice on offer. But to further clarify the matter with the second fellow: He said he's already got a moirail. Can trolls have more than one moirail at a time?

And one other thing. This troll friend of mine seems to have it out for another chum of mine. He's convinced this other chum is going to do something terrible to me because of some powers he has. The second chum has the powers, that is, not the trollian one. I've tried explaining that he's really off the mark, but my trollian chum is adamant. Any thoughts on how to get the blighter to calm down and accept that not everyone of a certain stripe is evil incarnate?

Signed,
Non-trollian Chum

[dorkytracksuit]

Dear Aunt Zho,

Any idea on how to rid yourself of soul wrenching guilt?

Anonymous

[feilanlonely]

Dear Aunt Zho,

Her hair is like coal and so are her lips
Her deadly claws rend, tear, and rip
O how I yearn
For her affection to earn
Because she's also got really nice hips.

Signed,
A Secondary Candidate